新托福獨立寫作解析：規(guī)則的束縛

　　托福寫作題目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Society has created too many rules for young people.

　　托福寫作思路指導(dǎo)：

　　How do you go about writing better sentences? The answer is simple. You learn the same way you learn almost every other skill: by imitating the examples of those who have that skill. You probably have already discovered that it its easier to master anything---jumping hurdles, doing a swan dive, or playing the guitar------if you IMITATE a MODEL

　　William Strunk

　　托福寫作范文仿寫練習(xí)：

　　▶ 大聲朗讀，通讀全文

　　Young people today are bound by a myriad of social and legal conventions, and it seems to me that these rules are excessive and often ineffective. Young people are governed by too many rules.

　　First are social conventions. In my country, young people are expected to follow a fairly standardized and linear path on the road to adulthood. ‘Responsibility’ is the operative word. Schooling follows a certain road: K-12 education to prepare you for college, college to prepare you for work, work to prepare you for a respectable career and a brief period of independence before settling down as an adult. Deviating from this is generally frowned upon. It sounds terribly irresponsible to drop out of college and go backpacking through India, for example, and for many young people, it probably is. Then again, this is exactly what Steve Jobs did, and nobody can argue with those results. The problem here is that, while we meanwhile in enforcing these rules, they’re highly inflexible and box the creativity of youth at a critical stage in their development. Social conventions, which were originally intended to anchor young people, instead end up restricting their paths of development.

　　Second are legal conventions. The laws governing the behavior of young people are not really commensurate with the physical and emotional realities of youth. For example, in my country, you must be 18 in order to buy cigarettes and 21 to buy alcohol, but for some reason you only have to be 17 to go to war. This means that those too young to be trusted with the responsibility of vices like smoking and drinking might still be old enough to experience the trauma of military combat. Vices like smoking and drinking are irresponsible uses of time, because they tend to derail you from the life trajectory that society prescribes. Serving in the military, however, is not, because soldiering is the epitome of a standardized, linear, and responsible life. These laws only add up to an unclear message to youth about how they must be responsible but that we don’t trust them to be responsible. Such contradictory ideas are not beneficial to youth and their role in society.

　　Now, admittedly, young people do need guidelines when growing up. It’s an oftentimes scary and confusing process. Without the right type of guidance, it can be very easy for young people to go down the wrong path. But sometimes the right type of guidance is no guidance, and sometimes taking the wrong path can teach you how to find the one you’re meant for. The problem with the rules confronting young people today is they’re too many and too inflexible. They don’t encourage young people to learn , to adapt, or to find their own way. And they don’t trust young people. All they do is stunt the growth of a generation of youths, who then go on to foist the same lousy system on the next generation. To me, this isn’t a system that begets ‘responsibility.’

　　So yes, I think society has created too many rules for young people. The only way things will improve is if we give them a little more freedom and trust in finding their own way, while still being there to provide guidance should they want it. When they finally do acquire a sense of responsibility, it’ll be because they grasped the concept themselves.

　　▶學(xué)習(xí)重點詞匯表達

　　Are bound by 受約束，束縛

　　Are governed by 受管束

　　The operative word 有效的字眼

　　Deviating from 偏離

　　Box the creativity 遏制創(chuàng)造力

　　Anchor 引導(dǎo)

　　commensurate with 相符，一致

　　experience the trauma of military combat 經(jīng)歷戰(zhàn)爭的創(chuàng)傷

　　derail you from the life trajectory 脫離預(yù)設(shè)的軌道

　　the epitome of a standardized, linear, and responsible life 標準化，線性上升和責(zé)任人生的典范

　　begets responsibility 產(chǎn)生責(zé)任感

　　acquire a sense of responsibility 獲得責(zé)任感

　　▶ 邊讀邊填，加深印象

　　Young people today (_________)受約束 a myriad of social and legal conventions, and it seems to me that these rules are excessive and often ineffective. Young people (___________)受管束 too many rules.

　　First are social conventions. In my country, young people are expected to follow a fairly standardized and linear path on the road to adulthood. ‘Responsibility’ is (_____________) 有效地字眼. Schooling follows a certain road: K-12 education to prepare you for college, college to prepare you for work, work to prepare you for a respectable career and a brief period of independence before settling down as an adult. (______________)偏離 this is generally frowned upon. It sounds terribly irresponsible to drop out of college and go backpacking through India, for example, and for many young people, it probably is. Then again, this is exactly what Steve Jobs did, and nobody can argue with those results. The problem here is that, while we meanwhile in enforcing these rules, they’re highly inflexible and (____________) 遏制創(chuàng)造力 of youth at a critical stage in their development. Social conventions, which were originally intended to (________)引導(dǎo) young people, instead end up restricting their paths of development.

　　Second are legal conventions. The laws governing the behavior of young people are not really (__________)一致 the physical and emotional realities of youth. For example, in my country, you must be 18 in order to buy cigarettes and 21 to buy alcohol, but for some reason you only have to be 17 to go to war. This means that those too young to be trusted with the responsibility of vices like smoking and drinking might still be old enough to(___________)經(jīng)歷戰(zhàn)爭的創(chuàng)傷. Vices like smoking and drinking are irresponsible uses of time, because they tend to (_________)脫離預(yù)設(shè)的軌道 that society prescribes. Serving in the military, however, is not, because soldiering is (__________)標準化，線性上升和責(zé)任人生的典范. These laws only add up to an unclear message to youth about how they must be responsible but that we don’t trust them to be responsible. Such contradictory ideas are not beneficial to youth and their role in society.

　　Now, admittedly, young people do need guidelines when growing up. It’s an oftentimes scary and confusing process. Without the right type of guidance, it can be very easy for young people to go down the wrong path. But sometimes the right type of guidance is no guidance, and sometimes taking the wrong path can teach you how to find the one you’re meant for. The problem with the rules confronting young people today is they’re too many and too inflexible. They don’t encourage young people to learn , to adapt, or to find their own way. And they don’t trust young people. All they do is stunt the growth of a generation of youths, who then go on to foist the same lousy system on the next generation. To me, this isn’t a system that (_________________)產(chǎn)生責(zé)任感。

　　So yes, I think society has created too many rules for young people. The only way things will improve is if we give them a little more freedom and trust in finding their own way, while still being there to provide guidance should they want it. When they finally do (________________)獲得責(zé)任感, it’ll be because they grasped the concept themselves.

　　▶ 打開電腦，開始仿寫(原英文輸出-漢譯英)

　　當(dāng)下的年青人受制于數(shù)不清的社會習(xí)俗和法律規(guī)則的捆綁。我覺得這些規(guī)則種類繁多且無效。年輕人被規(guī)則過度束縛。

　　首先是社會習(xí)俗。 年輕人被期盼遵循一條標準化和線性攀升的道路邁入成年。責(zé)任是個有效的字眼。求學(xué)的道路是既定的：K-12是為上大學(xué)作準備，上大學(xué)是為找工作做準備，工作賦予你體面的職業(yè)和獨立生活，隨即你便成人了。偏離這條軌道，往往是眾矢之的。比如：大學(xué)輟學(xué)，游走印度聽起來是極不負責(zé)任的事，對多數(shù)年青人來說也確實如此，但是，Steve Jobs就是這么做的啊，沒有人會對今天他取得的成就而指責(zé)他年輕時的所為。問題在于，這些規(guī)則非常僵化，束縛年輕人在他們成長關(guān)鍵期的創(chuàng)造力，而我們?nèi)匀辉趶娀�這些規(guī)則的束縛力。社會習(xí)俗，初衷是為了引導(dǎo)青年人，而事實是局限了他們發(fā)展的道路。

　　其次是法律規(guī)則。法律規(guī)則對年輕人行為的束縛與青年人真實的情感和身體狀況并不一致。比如，在我的國家，你需要年滿18歲可以購買香煙，年滿21歲可以購買烈酒，但是出于這樣或是那樣的原因，你只需要年滿17歲就可以參加戰(zhàn)斗了。這意味著那些太年輕無法駕馭香煙和烈酒的人卻足夠成熟到可以去經(jīng)歷戰(zhàn)爭的創(chuàng)傷。吸煙喝酒是對時間的辜負，因為它會使你偏離社會預(yù)設(shè)給年青人成長的軌跡。應(yīng)征入伍卻不是辜負時間，因為軍人是標準化，線性上升和承擔(dān)責(zé)任的典范。這些法律規(guī)則傳遞給青年人關(guān)于責(zé)任的信息是不清楚的，與此同時，年輕人并不被信任。這種矛盾的做法對于青年人和他們在社會上的角色并無益處。

　　當(dāng)下，誠然青年人確實在成長的路上需要指引。成長通常是一個讓人害怕和滿是困惑的過程。沒有正確的引導(dǎo)，青年人容易誤入歧途。有時候，正確的引導(dǎo)也許并不是引導(dǎo)，有時候，走彎路讓你有機會發(fā)現(xiàn)真正的自己。當(dāng)下年輕人所面對的問題是繁多和僵化的各種規(guī)則束縛。這些規(guī)則并不鼓勵青年人去學(xué)習(xí)，適應(yīng)和找到他們自己的路。這些規(guī)則設(shè)定的初衷并沒有基于信任青年人的基礎(chǔ)之上。規(guī)則制定人所做的無非是威懾青年人，這些青年人又再一次將這個同樣糟糕的制度傳遞給下一代。與我來說，這樣的規(guī)則束縛并不會產(chǎn)生‘責(zé)任感’。

　　所以，我確實認為社會設(shè)置了太多的條條框框約束青年人。如果我們給他們一些自由，一些信任，相信他們可以找到自己在社會上的位置，這是唯一改善現(xiàn)狀的機會。同時，如果青年人需要的話，社會確保給予他們及時的引導(dǎo)。如果說青年人理解到責(zé)任的含義，那也是源于他們自發(fā)的捕捉到了這個概念的真正含義。